How Much Of Nigerian Are you?

 


How Much Of Nigerian Are you?


By Osazua Iruedo


I am 100% Nigerian


I don't have an English name. I love my name and also feel joy when people pronounce it well.


I speak two Nigerian languages fluently. Yoruba and Ishan(Edo) Language.


I am afraid of my village people so I pray all the time and try to stay lowkey.


I love eating my swallow food with my hands. No matter where I am, I will wash my hands, eat and lick my fingers without caring who is looking or disappointed. I don't care. My favorite swallow is Amala with gbegiri and ewedu. Ganished with ponmo, saki, abodi, ishan, round about and Yoruba pepper.


I call every one older than me aunty or uncle. Most times bother( brother).


I shout up NEPA when light is restored.


I still recount my money after withdrawing from the ATM.


I can calculate how long power will be available and get worried if they are taking to long to take it.


I run on zebra crossing because I know my brothers behind the wheel won't stop for me to walk like a Queen


I know yoga is good. But when I see someone place their legs on the wall when they are sleeping then the person is definitely a witch


If I don't reduce the television volume I can't smell what is burning.


When I price an item and the seller agrees without dragging I feel cheated.


When I eat a delicious meal in my dream I will fast and pray for 3 days


I blame my sleepless nights on the government.


I don't finish a tin of milk at once. I will tear paper from the tin and use it to cover the hole


I believe these two combination of malt and milk gives blood.

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