THINGS I WANTED TO SAY BUT NEVER DID UNTIL NOW.

 

THINGS I WANTED TO SAY BUT NEVER DID UNTIL NOW.

Written By Felix Olokede

One thing I had to fight after my admission into the senior secondary school was the fear of not living up to expectations. For the first time in my life, I started to feel insecure about my intellectual prowess. This fear emanated from the fact that I left a school where I was one of the top three students on a consistent basis to another where 90% of the incoming students were prominent intellectual individuals from educational institutions better than the environment I was coming from.

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After a while, I discovered some unwanted elements had gained access into my mind. I began to doubt if I really belonged to the class of students in the school. The confidence in my competence went AWOL and I began to berate my performances. I was doing well in my subjects but the more I accomplished, the more I felt it was an undeserved reputation. It took me almost two years to admit my struggle with the impostor syndrome and seek help from my chemistry tutor (a female youth corp member then) who had developed a keen interest in me.

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I've discovered something quite unusual : The more skilled or valuable you're, the harder it is for you to believe it. It's very possible for a man to become too familiar with himself. Also, I've observed that the more relevant you become to a people, the louder the utterance of incompetency or inadequacy becomes. 

Many of the predicaments which befalls a man are actually not sponsored by a non-existent 'village people' or witchcraft but 'self-craft'. Self-craft has crushed many notable and well-meaning aspirations than witchcraft.

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This is why one of God' foremost obligations to a man who will express His purpose to a people is to change how the man sees himself. He does this by helping the man view His Word as the mirror to behold.

If your mind is calling you a grasshopper and prophecy is calling you a Lion, you will end up being a grasshopper. This is because your life will always gravitate towards the most prevalent thoughts in your mind. No man can become greater than his thoughts.

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God is still interested in making a fine wine out of common waterpots despite the availability of wineskins but one thing is needful - Prioritizing the spoken/written Word over your feelings or past experiences. 

This pattern isn't one of the goodies that comes with being redeemed. It is an art that must be developed consciously. This is why I always emphasize the need to avoid getting immersed in the thoughts of 'you're not smart enough', 'nobody truly rises to the pinnacle in your immediate environment so what makes you think you deserve a place amongst kings?' or 'you're not valuable enough to be celebrated and rewarded' to people around me.

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Refuse to settle and choose to give expression to all of the great yet untapped installations within you. It's time to explore, spread your wings to soar again and be all you can be.

The world is your stage … A generation awaits!

#Infelixcer